…Leoa Rising

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The phrase just popped into my head.

I was minding my own sweaty business, pushing through another grueling workout with my best friend at the local Y, per our usual Monday routine. And there it was. I immediately looked at her and said it. She smiled and lowered her dumbbell.

“Ka’en emerging — Leoa rising.”

While this sounds like the title of some Eastern mysticism/martial arts flick, for us it was something to pay attention to, something to look at more closely, something to really press into. Here we were, a couple of nondescript middle-aged homeschooling moms, getting a workout in while our boys were home ostensibly plugging away at their schoolwork. Two women you’d pass in the street and not even think twice about. But behind our snazzy little workout outfits and plain jane faces, lurk two warriors in training.

We are twins of sorts, jointly becoming what we were made to be. And this involves training our minds and bodies and spirits for the work we were placed on this planet to accomplish. And me, at 50 and her, at 48 — well doubts creep in but we’re embracing the ever-youthful, ever-growing inner fighters and defenders who are our true identity.

She is Ka’en — I am Leoa.

She is Fire Starter, I am a fierce Lioness, crafted and placed in this time and place to do and to undo what was done in our respective family lines. We are bondage breakers and curse crashers — we are warriors who are getting used to living daily in invisible (but more real than anything on this earth) armor. We are walking in our orders from our Commander Dad, our God, who enlisted us into the work we freely agreed to do.

When we realized these names for ourselves and what our mission is becoming, we were simply broken women pressing in for more closeness with our Creator, our Father. We had (and have) deep areas of hurt and abuse that need addressing by more than mere human wisdom. We were (and are) seeking ever-growing intimacy with our Heavenly Dad.

And my hunger to know Him more has led me to discover the person He has been fashioning. This me He knew intimately as He was molding me, knitting me together with songs and joy and — though He knew the pain I would face but with tears making me and finishing me up with a smile — starting my life story in motion with a flourish of His magnificent hand.

I was thrust into this cold world with two collapsed lungs, fighting for life in critical condition for my first 72 hours, several times almost dying. Then, as my lungs inflated I roared and roared and roared. I was wailing to live, willing to defeat death, even before coming home in my joyful mother’s arms —  and rising to face whatever challenges would come.

And a half-century later, I rise on the rock, surveying the land beneath me, panoramic splendor and I laugh because who ever thought I would be here, this scared little mouse armor-clad, now a lion in a middle-aged frame? I look up at my Dad with wonder as He shows me there are higher heights to climb, adventures we will face together. And I link arms with my comrade-in-arms, Ka’en, as she emerges from the mist.

I am in awe. I am Leoa, rising.

 

 

 

 

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